What About Your Friends

Hey!!! Yesterday was National Best Friend Day so what better topic to discuss….Friendship.

Social media is filled with memes about friendship from “No new friends” to “your friends should (insert unrealistic expectation here). As we grow older, we realize that all of the crazy friendship "rules" are not what made our best relationships last. There is one friendship rule that has helped me navigate the sometimes unpredictable waves of friendship.

COMMUNICATE

We are always told that we should treat people how we want to be treated but that is so far from the truth. I’m not saying don’t show your friends honesty, loyalty, love, and respect but I am saying that I’ve learned that it’s best to treat people how they want to be treated and we only know what people want and need by communicating with them. I once bought someone a gift that I thought was better than what they actually wanted and they hated it. I should've given them what they needed not what I thought they needed.When you have honest conversations about what you need from friends and what you can offer as a friend it kills assumptions, unrealistic expectations, and builds stronger bonds.

I was born with a best friend but trust me, that doesn’t make it easier. Honey, we had to work on this thing. We all know sisters who are not friends. Yes, we have a picture perfect friendship but it’s not perfect. We talk about things and sometimes it can be painful but it’s necessary. We respect each other’s boundaries and have learned to fix issues fast. If we didn’t learn to communicate effectively

and treat each other how we want and need to be treated, we probably wouldn’t be friends today.

I know it sounds simple but most people who fail at relationships have problems communicating. We think communicating is just having regular conversations but it’s so much more to it. Some of us struggle because we’ve let offense distort our hearing, we just want to be heard and don’t actively listen, or we just don’t have the right words to say. I know that there have been times that I have struggled with communicating because I didn’t want to hurt the other person but I realized that no matter how painful it is you have to share how you feel and be honest.

In a time where we are faced with much loneliness, friendship is a gift from God. All gifts need nurturing so let's strengthen our friendships by having intentional conversations.

Helen 💋